Asking them just builds resentment. She is heartbroken too, she cries over this too. I have been self-employed for most of my career, too. Well my buddy texted me just yesterday asking if he could come and grab it. This is where you often get the real meat, if she says something crazy like, "Yes. Our lives got busy with grad school and we just didn't make time for each other, and let our lives drift apart.